One Drop of Blood
by Kaleyanne
Summary: Yusuke reviews the circumstances and his own thoughts from when he fought Doctor Kamiya. Rated for frequent mention of blood. Spoilers warning.


One Drop of Blood   
  
Notes: Yanagisawa, Kido, Murota and the Doctor, Kamiya Minoru, are currently being released Stateside on DVD. If you have yet to see those DVDs, this contains mildish spoilers.   
  
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One Drop of Blood  
  
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One single, solitary drop of blood.   
  
Maybe if I had managed to spill just one drop of his blood, I would believe it was real. Maybe if I had some scar or injury, or some deeply-rooted, horrible image plastered in the back of my brain. Like Keiko's Jagan opening, Kurama's unconscious body being pummeled, Kuwabara charging Toguro, Genkai-baasan's last words... Some sort of proof that I really did it.  
  
"Doctor" Kamiya Minoru. At the time, I considered him my most psychotic opponent ever. (Previously, that honor had been a four-way split between Hiei, Toguro, Chuu and Jin.) That guy made no sense. And he was the type of ironic paradox that Baasan and Kurama would delight in puzzling over for years to come. (Rule of thumb; if those two think something is interesting, chances are, in reality, it is extremely deadly and unpredictable.)   
  
A doctor that kills instead of saving. I guess it's not too uncommon. I did a little research here and there, some time after. Nothing strenuous, mind you, I just flipped some newspaper headlines, and eavesdropped around school.   
  
Kamiya was some piece of work. He knew perfectly well that what he was doing, opening the door to the Demon Realm, would kill him. Demons are about as evil as humans, and, trust me, now I know that is saying something.   
  
Imagine an enemy who knows exactly where to cut. And how to make your death natural-seeming.   
  
Again, I guess it's not too uncommon. Kurama and Yukina both appear to have some mild medical training. And Botan has her white magic pneumotherapy stuff.   
  
The whole affair disturbs me. I was really on my own then. Not like fighting Toguro, with Kuwabara and everyone else right on the fringes. Or Suzaku, when I knew the other three were doing their best to get to me. Kido was on the ground, barely saved from bleeding to death. Murota and Yanagisawa were victims of the sickness. And Kurama's group and Baasan, I had no idea where they were.   
  
It was me and the creepy-ass Doctor.   
  
I tried everything I had. Punches, kicks, dodges, and Rei-gun. No dice. He bounced off every blow. I tore his arm off, for crying out loud! He just reattached it!  
  
And I was on a time limit, too. So many minutes, and everyone -- Kido, Murota, Yana, and every one of the hospital's patients and staff -- would die.   
  
I still have nightmares about it.   
  
He never landed a blow.   
  
If we had kept up our run around, he would have won. Eventually I would have just collapsed from exhaustion. He could keep it up, as long as he could manipulate the hormones and chemicals in his brain.   
  
I could not knock him out.   
  
There was no way. Maybe, in hindsight, I could find one, but in that heat-of-the-moment battle? No. No. Not a chance.   
  
I had to kill him. I did kill him, kind of.   
  
Honestly, if Yanagisawa hadn't shown up when he did, I don't know what would have happened. I would have gone for the kill, but probably would have held back unconsciously. And been in the same monotonous mess I had been in since the fight started.   
  
When Kamiya had Nurse Yana, he said I was glad to have an excuse not to kill him.  
  
Was he ever more right?  
  
Hypocritical as it sounds, I could not bring myself to kill a human being. Demons? Sure! I killed Gouki, Suzaku and Toguro. Gladly. Proudly.  
  
I needed that boost of support from Genkai, and the reaffirmation of Kamiya's evilness from Murota and Yana before I could do it.   
  
Maybe it's because demons seemed like morons. Gouki seemed like a moron, and Kurama and Hiei have never said anything to dispel me of this idea. More intelligent lifeforms, like Jin and Chuu and Hiei, I couldn't hold them in the same category. They seemed... more like me.   
  
(Although, in hindsight, Hiei acted pretty moronic when we fought then, the way he wouldn't shut up. He gets reeeally stupid when he talks. Man, hope he never reads this.)   
  
But Kamiya was on a seperate level from them. Intelligent, but more like mad scientist. Looked human. Is human.   
  
I wanted my friends there so badly right then.   
  
If Kuwabara had been there, he would have called me a baby, and said since I was so weak we would have to kill him together. Out loud, anyway. Inside he would be quaking with my same doubts -- to this day, he has never killed. Never, not once. I remember, Kurama and Hiei told me, that they had seen Jin and Touya get into a huge falling-out with Risho after our fights with them. (I'd been with Keiko. Heh.) (No, I never did find out what happened to Bakken. Everyone evaded the subject.)  
  
He couldn't do it himself, and he'd know I couldn't either. So we both would share the guilt.   
  
Hiei would have also called me a baby, but he would have just done it. It would tug at his mind, but he would ignore it. It would have been clean, but crispy.   
  
Hiei has demonstrated a willingness to take my fights before. Payback? Apology for what he almost did to Keiko? Beats me, but I wish he hadn't disappeared then.  
  
As for Kurama, he would skip all taunts and baby comments, and just do it before I get the request out of my mouth. Like Hiei, he would ignore any lingering guilt. Hell, maybe he might have enjoyed it. After his mother recovered, Kurama did confide to me that he thought doctors were the most detestable creatures alive.   
  
But they weren't there, and I killed him.   
  
But Genkai-baasan fixed it.   
  
I guess she jumpstarted his heart or something. He was perfectly okay. She told me, seriously, that she did it for me. No point in having me saddled with his death, she said. She did it for my peace of mind. Erased my mistakes.   
  
Even when he 'died,' he didn't bleed.   
  
Maybe if I had spilled just one drop of his blood, gotten just one scarlet stain on my t-shirt, I would believe it happened.  
  
Maybe if I didn't wake up screaming, even now, Genkai-baasan's trick would have worked.  
  
Maybe if couldn't see him twitching and convulsing, I wouldn't feel so guilty.   
  
Just one drop... 


End file.
